It was my period.

Sadness with that.

But a bit of relief too.

And sadness again because of that.

I have to get through my grief, I have to clear those blocks, before I can focus on a pregnancy again. So I'm not terrified every step of the way.

Again.
***********
The Husband and I fought chatted the other night. I told him I missed him. That I want to actually spend time with him. Do things together. Stop living seperate lives. To grow together, not seperately.

Out of the blue, he gets up at 10am thismorning all ready to spend the day with me, His Wife.

But I'm not ready! I want to clean the house! Drink tea! Relax! Catch up on phone calls! And now he's all showered and ready to bond.

And I'm not ready. How awful is that.

He changed the rules and didn't tell me.

Shit.

So I put the rubber gloves away. Have a shower. Turn off the computer. And off we go.

To bond.

Urs.