Remind me not to talk to him again.

He's not your friend Ursula, he's a VP.

I've GOT to remember that. I can get carried away chatting with him because I like him so much. As a friend. And as a VP in the company I work for. But I really like him as a friend. We have a good friendship. Not spectacular. Not close, really. We don't hang out outside of work.

But we're friends.

And so we chat. And so we bitch. And we talk about our frustrations with our jobs.

And our bosses.

But my boss is a VP too. And my boss and him don't necessarily see eye to eye. And when I bitch about my boss to him, my friend, it's damaging to my boss. It's like ammunition for him. He could turn around and say, "your staff doesn't respect you", that kind of thing.

And, I mean, it wouldn't necessarily be a lie, but it doesn't have to be mentioned.

For the record, I respect my boss as a person, but not as a Vice President in this corporation. It's unfortunate, but true.

At this moment.

BUT, I was thinking last night while I was working a concert (had clients in) (it was a shitty concert so I had lots of time to think about other things as I wasn't watching the show) that perhaps I'm a bit jaded about my boss because of my friend, the other VP. Perhaps I've just been listening to him too long. Perhaps he's pulling me down into the shit that he's stuck in.

I came to the realization that yes, that's exactly what has happened.

He's down on the company lately because his staff tried to get him fired. His staff went to the president with a huge (years) list of complaints and issues and harrassment notes.

His staff tried to get him fired.

Nobody in my bosses 15 year history with this organization has ever tried to get him fired.

I do believe I was aligning with the wrong person. But I do like him as a person and as a friend, I just wouldn't want to work for him. And it's not that I was aligning with him to further my career or keep me safe, I just was attracted to his personality.

And so after all of this thinking last night, I woke up thismorning remembering my dream:

I'm in a hockey arena with my boss and the leader of the NHL team that plays there. The NHL leader is feeding us bullshit. I'm looking at my boss for leadership and don't feel that I'm getting any. I'm thinking he's being a wet noodle. I'm wanting him to stand up and not take this bullshit anymore. But he's not. I'm getting more frustrated and more frustrated by the second. Just before I'm about to scream at this NHL man, my boss comes out with a doozy and it pretty much knocks the other guy on his ass. It completely shuts him up and he realizes he doesn't have a leg to stand on anymore. His bullshit is over. The buck stops here.

And so I was extremely proud of my boss and of working for him.

It made me realize that he can steer the boat.

So I should get over myself, shut up and let him.

Urs.